Ever find yourself in a communication bind with someone and you just couldn’t seem to navigate finding understanding or any positive outcomes.?
Marshall Rosenberg in his works titled Non Violent Communication explains how to break these communication binds to get your needs met while at the same time finding ways to meet the needs of others.
Key Points to Consider:
- Labeling: As soon as we decide the motive of another person, or define what their behavior means and describe the person as a certain way we are setting up for a communication breakdown.
For Example : Saying the person who did that behavior because they don’t care, are mean, or stupid.
- Needs: We are usually upset because one or more of our needs are not meet by another person when they behave the way that they do. We all have the need to be heard, understood, listened to, respected, cared for, for autonomy, individuality, safety, meaning and purpose to name a few.
- Understanding the source of your feelings: Our feelings are fueled by how we interpret people’s motives and behaviours and by any one of our needs not met. To take responsibility for your own emotions. Nobody can make you feel a certain way. When you notice you are reacting emotionally to others stop to look inside yourself and ask “what of my needs are not being met right now? “ “ How am I interpreting their behavior”
- Communication: When you are letting another person know your concern, simply talk from the level of your needs and how you would like them to go about meeting them. Be open to the other person being able to share their needs and perspective and whether they are in agreement.
Marianne Love
